chemo today

it's a few minutes before we leave for my first treatment of abraxane. i confess i am nervous about the whole thing. even though i have received an infusion of the bone strengthener zometa every month for the past 7+ years, and i know what to expect with regard to hooking up the port etc., i am still at a loss as to what to expect from abraxane.

i've read about it online, talked with friends who have taken it, and still don't feel like i have enough information. those of you who know me well understand that i function best when i have LOTS of information.

of course i am also nervous about how i will respond to abraxane, how quickly i will notice side effects, whether it will be effective, even if i should have insisted on being enrolled in a clinical trial. (the trial recommended to me, for a drug called dasatinib, is not available in seattle. my onc would have had to become a trial investigator and that takes lots of time. he really wanted me to start treatment asap.

this is my chemo mantra:
- it should be really effective
- it should be easily tolerated
- it should have minimal side effects

i say these three things every time i talk about the chemo. i am putting these specifics out to the universe in the expectation that we get what we ask for.