May 19, 2010

Losing the rest of my hair

I was just getting used to the way I look with a shaved head a la Demi Moore in G.I. Jane and deciding it wasn't so bad when this morning in the shower I noticed little shreds of 1/4" long hair on my hand. It appears even the stubble is falling out and soon I will be smoothly bald , more like Persis Khambatta in Star Trek: The Motion Picture. (Although they both had eyebrows.) A friend recommended using duct tape to remove the tiny hairs and prevent scalp itch. We'll see.

For now I have decided not to post any photos online of me in the wig or a scarf or bald. I am comfortable wearing a scarf in public although I get many double-takes from strangers, even in medical buildings. You'd think people had never since a female cancer patient before.

Most people at synagogue who know me have avoided commenting that I've lost my hair and focus on how cute the scarf looks. That's a bit strange, kind of like stepping on the step that isn't there. You think it is, so your foot comes down extra hard on the ground. Only two people have actually said anything to me about losing my hair.

I'm not complaining: I think it's easier to focus on the positive of the terrific scarf rather than the negative of losing hair to chemo. And I don't want to have the "pity party" conversation repeatedly every time I see someone for the first time.

Still, it's strange to not have the hair loss acknowledged.


  1. I think that people are afraid to acknowledge it because they do not know where the conversation will lead them. People are not comfortable with strong emotion.

  2. Shira2:18 AM

    Your speaking up so frankly about how you feel when people cause discomfort out of ignorance, Jill, is a great step towards educating them! Keep on helping us all walk a mile in your moccasins.