In a few days I am going to turn 50 years old. After my mets diagnosis, this is an age I wasn't sure I would I would see, much less get to celebrate with family and friends.
Originally after my mets diagnosis I just wanted to outlive the predictions, which said half the women diagnosed with mets lived one year. That was seven years ago, and I confess I am glad to have outlived the prediction from that time and no longer even want to know what the current data suggest. Every day after that first year has been a gift. That's why I celebrate my "metsiversary" every year.
It also was never a goal of mine to reach the age of 50. I did have goals at first: to dance at my niece's bat mitzvah; to travel to places old and new in other parts of the world; to buy a house and make it a home. (I also had a goal to raise children, but the cancer prevented that from happening.) I am glad to have achieved all of these goals. I am glad to have been well enough to achieve all of them. And I am even happier that I continue to feel well enough to set new goals.
For now, it's enough to spend time with family and enjoy the celebration. I am going to be 50, despite the cancer I have no grey hair, and I look and feel pretty terrific. As we say on Passover -- dayenu -- it will be enough.