Two friends dying this week

Last night I heard from E. She was hospitalized with severe pain, which turned out to be an inoperable bowel obstruction. Her cancer has spread so far into her abdomen that it can't be removed. She hoped to be discharged to hospice at home today. E., you may recall, is something like a daughter and something like a sister to me. She is just 30, married with two young children.

I am overwhelmed at how she is handling her imminent death. She is making calls to gather her friends and family. Picture her lying on the hospital bed, her favorite Bluetooth earpiece glued to her ear, talking on her cell phone. People are coming in from all over to say goodbye. Whether she has a week or just a few days left, E. will be surrounded by people who love her and who she loves. And on top of all the visits she is writing special cards to give to her children on future significant moments she will miss (elementary school, high school, graduations, weddings, grandchildren).

Then there's L. from my support group. L. has been coming to group for about a year. She too has metastatic breast cancer and is maybe one year older than I am, has been living with mets one more year than I have. We've commiserated over her forced retirement from her beloved career, how to live on ongoing chemo for many years, planning her own funeral so that her partner won't have to guess what she wants.

L.'s brain mets took a turn for the worse last week and her oncologist sent her home to hospice, saying that he had nothing further in the way of treatment to offer her. Often when people get this news, they decide that it's time to stop struggling and relax to the inevitable. That's what L. has done. Between one week and the next, she grew progressively less and less responsive. When she wasn't at group on Tuesday, we knew something was wrong. Her partner tells me she coudl die any day. He's talking with her sister to make sure that they all follow L.'s wishes.

Theirs are 21st century deaths from cancer.

My dog is a cone head

Pumpkin has recovered nicely from his surgery. He has a 3 inch scar winding up his left front paw. But because the scab isn't fully formed, even a week later, he needs to wear an Elizabethan cone to keep him from licking and worrying at it. I think the cone, plus his truly terrible summer haircut, combine to make him look even goofier than ever! In this photo you can see that he can just barely hold onto his favorite toy, a squeaky soccer ball he stole from my friend Jeanne's Golden Retriever GB.

You can keep up to date with Jeanne and her cancer story here.

Pumpkin has cancer too

When we rescued Pumpkin three years ago, he came with a bow in his hair -- and a lump the size of a golf ball on his left front leg. We had it removed and the vet confirmed it was a malignant sarcoma. Yes, both Pumpkin and I have cancer! However, this kind of sarcoma is not likely to spread, but it does return.

It came back almost exactly a year later; we had it removed again. Now, two years later, it's back yet once more. So yesterday Pumpkin had surgery again.

The vet says he can continue to remove the sarcoma should it recur again (as it most likely will). Some day, we will face the likelihood that there is no longer enough tissue remaining to support his leg, and then the answer will be amputation.

The vet also says dogs are born with thee legs and a spare. On Wednesday I saw a three-legged dog walking his person (literally -- the dog was leading). And when I picked Pumpkin up after yesterday's procedure, I met a dog who just had a leg amputated after being hit by a car.

Pumpkin will wear the bandage for 5-7 days. Can't get it wet, so he wears a "mediboot" when he goes outside.

She's not dead!

Just wanted to let you all know that I heard from my friend E. and she says (quoting Monty Python's Spamalot) "I'm not dead!" While she was in the hospital there was some confusion over what information got sent out to friends. Just goes to show how important it is to be clear when we communicate.

E. has the support of hospice care at home and continues to receive radiation for her tumor. I expect to visit with her late next week.

We will all die someday, and those of us with advanced cancer sooner than we expected, but I'm glad to report E. is still here.

Losing another friend?

It seems that my friend E. is dying of metastatic breast cancer. We have been close friends since we met at a Young Survival Coalition conference three years ago and traveled home together. We talked for 5+ hours on the plane without stopping!

In a way, E. has been something of a daughter (I'm ALMOST old enough to be her mother) and something of a sister. She just turned 30, is married with two very young children.

E. asked me a long time ago, "Will I live to see 30?" I told her of course she would! But now one tumor continues to grow without restraint, causes her pain, and it's probably a matter of weeks, maybe days.

Cancer sucks.

Sponsor me!

I am again raising funds for the Komen Puget Sound Race for the Cure on June 16, 2007.

Click here to visit my personal page and pledge your support.

I've been a recipient of Komen funds in the past, and I believe in their mission -- to fund innovative outreach and awareness programs for medically under-served communities in Western Washington and national breast cancer research. Komen is one of the few cancer organizations that directly supports women living with cancer.

This year I am also coordinating a team. So if you want to walk with me, you can register for the event ($25 fee) and click on Join An Existing Team, then search for the Dancing With Cancer team. I'm doing the 1 mile walk -- the 5K is just a bit too much for my hips! The deadline for team registration is Friday, May 25th at 5 PM.

Whatever you can give will help. I will update this blog with my progress.

A matza recipe for you

In case you didn't eat enough matza this past week during Passover. B'tayavon!

PASSOVER ALMOND ROCA CANDY

1 cup butter
1 cup brown sugar
1 bag chocolate chips
1/2 cup sliced or chopped toasted almonds

Completely cover a rimmed cookie sheet with aluminum foil, dull side up.

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Place 4 whole matzot on foil. Break as needed to fit on pan.

Toast almonds in a dry skillet for 3-4 minutes or until light brown and fragrant.

Combine butter and brown sugar in a medium saucepan. Boil for 5 minutes, stirring occasionally. Mixture will foam up the sides of the saucepan.

Pour mixture neatly over matzot. Bake at 350 degrees for 5 minutes.

Remove from oven and sprinkle immediately with chocolate chips. When chips have softened, spread evenly with knife or spatula.

Scatter sliced or chopped almonds.

Chill 1 hour. Break into small pieces and store in refrigerator or freezer. Serves a big seder crowd! (This recipe halves easily to serve fewer people.)

Jill & Pumpkin 2006

Famous again

I am still riding the wave of fame generated by my People Magazine quote. Today there is a story about me in the JT News, Seattle's Jewish newspaper.

Passover has ended for another year. On Tuesday we went out to celebrate with a veritable chametz fest of pizza and beer. It only took me 3 hours to turn the kitchen back to normal and put away all the Passover pots, dishes etc. They're like good friends who come to visit once a year and turn your house upside down. You're excited to see them every year, then relieved to see them go away again.

Happy Passover!

To all those celebrating Passover, and to everyone else just because I have a good wish to share --

May we be liberated from the tyranny of cancer and it's treatments by the reality of a cure, speedily and in our time, amen.

Chag Pesach sameach vekasher.