October 12, 2009

Late night thoughts

Saturday: bandaged for 22 hours (10 AM - 8 AM the next day)
Time sleeping: 18 hours (2 PM - 8 AM)

Sunday: bandaged for 22 hours (10 AM - 8 AM)
Time sleeping: 16 hours (2 PM - 6 PM; 8 PM - 8 AM)

Monday: bandaged for 15 hours (5 PM - 8 AM)
Time sleeping: 14 hours (5 PM - 10 PM; 11 PM - 8 AM) (I hope)

I'm not sure how well sleep as a coping mechanism is working. I can only spend so many hours lying down. But the sleeve and glove are not giving me enough relief. By 4 PM today I was desperate to remove them and bandage, even if it meant getting into bed right away.

I never see Rik, since he gets up at 6 and by the time he gets home I am bandaged and on my way to bed. Can't read a book (can't hold it in only my right hand and turn pages). Hunt and peck typing only when desperate to get caught up on email. Can't cook (afraid to hold a sharp knife in my right hand and can't manipulate one in my bandaged left hand). Can't order in every day either. So I'm not eating dinner (no great loss here, it can't hurt to lose a few pounds, but Rik is eating spaghetti every day). The only ones who are enjoying this are the dogs. They love to cuddle in bed.

My stress and anxiety are sky-high and even ativan isn't giving me enough relief anymore. I see the PT on Wednesday morning and hopefully after I unload all this on her, she will have some ideas. Meanwhile I am making myself and everyone around me crazy.

If I thought cancer was bad, lymphedema is a CURSE.

2 comments:

  1. Anonymous9:45 AM

    I hate lymphedema when I have it. Hate it even more with it giving you such an incredibly bad time.
    - Betty Johanna

    ReplyDelete
  2. sounds absolutely awful. is it the painkillers that make you sleep such a lot. Hugs from me

    ReplyDelete

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I dance with cancer. Oy!