Angela King, Q13FOX News
October 31, 2008
Breast cancer can kill. Every year, it does - more than 40,000 in 2008.
And if it doesn't conquer you, Katie Hogan says," I like a radio that's on in your head all the time that you can never turn off, and the best that you can hope for is try to turn down the volume as much as you can to give yourself a break."
But what about your children?
"How do I talk to her? How do I explain what's happening to me without scaring her?" says Nicole Taylor. Of all the distractions - the dark moments - this is the most difficult. Just ask Anna Schumacher.
"You stop fearing for your life. You start fearing your child is going to grow up without a mother."
It's a revelation Niicole knows all too well. She lost her mother to a brain tumor at age six. Now, a dose of déjà vu, except this time, it's Nicole's turn to be the calming force.
"We get these difficult questions from our kids: is your cancer never coming back or are you cured mommy? It's a difficult answer because the truth is we don't know."
But while questions are Nicole's quandry - confirmation is Courtney Preusse's heartbreak.
"The increase in estrogen that would be created by a pregnancy would make the cancer come back without a doubt," says Courtney.
This has not been an easy conclusion for Courtney to accept. She wants to have children and she could chance it.
"So that's where my mind toys with my heart and i think maybe it won't come back," says Courtney.
And that's where Andrew comes in. He says," It doesn't do anything for me to gain a child and lose my wife."
"If I bring a child into this world and I die five years later - it's a fact. I've been to my friends' funerals. Women my age die," says Courtney.
But the option of surrogacy is breathing new life, into the Preusse's dream of becoming three.
For those still fortunate enough to have children, cancer still has it's repercussions and it's questions.
Nicole once asked, "How do I get my son in his car seat when I'm not supposed to lift five pounds for six weeks after surgery. These women said 'jelly beans'. That's what worked. I had a pocket full of jelly beans for a year and a half and that's what got him in and out of his car seat."
So It's the little things, and each other, that help these young survivors get through. For Anna, it's the love of her little one.
"He shaved his head when my hair started coming out last week. He thought if mom's going to have a shaved head, then I have to have a shaved head. Then he also put my lipstick on, and I'm like -- we got to start slowing this down!"
And these ladies are in no mood to rush the moment. Family means so much.
"These wonderful milestones that other people take for granted," says Anna.
And yes - cancer has taken many lives and too many friends. It kills. It can crush your spirit and consume your every thought. But if there ever was a case study in love and support --the perfect example of what it means to be there for someone -- cancer's not the conqueror. These women are.
Members of the Young Survival Coalition and the Northwest Young Women Survivors say early diagnosis is the key. They urge women (men too) to perform those self examinations regularly, and have those mammograms.
October 31, 2008
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too familiar,
ReplyDeletemay they always find the days fruitful for sharing with family and friends!
Jill, you are amazing. I have sat here reading your blog for the last two hours. You are incredible in every way there is.
ReplyDeleteMy grandma's one Catholic one Jewish struggled with Breast Cancer, and God love my Zadie she literally thought she was going to "kick the shit out of this cancer" She still is living with it and every single day she spends with my Mom, sister and I with her five little great grandchildren and she says "these children keep me here" She teaches them yiddish and they love her so. As do we all. Her Cancer has never gone away but she lives with it full force and strait on everyday.
Her favorite thing to say is "If I die, I will call you."
Or if she is laughing so hard she loses her breath, she says "Call Stanetski's tell them I am ready" It were my Grandfather and all the members of our Jewish family had thier services. She truly makes it seem like its just okay and she says each day she wakes up and takes a breath, she hops into the car with my mom and over to see the little ones. There are five children between my sister and I. I have three, 4, 2, 6 months and she has two 2 and 1. They LOVE their Zadie, they kiss her square on the mouth and she yells (because she basically yells everything, she said its because she is from Boston) OY, these kids keep me in America!
She makes me smile, she moved here to Ohio to be with us and soak up every second that we all can.
It makes life a bit sweeter and makes us appreciate how very preicious it is.
I told her about your blog and she said you sounded just like her. Whenever we say, "We love you" she says, "I dont blame you!"
She makes me smile and I want you to know that you do too.
You are an amazing woman and OY VEY KEEP ON DANCING!
Love,
Emily