Today I was diagnosed with moderately severe depression and I start sertraline (Zoloft), an anti-depressant tomorrow morning. I also had an echocardiogram to discover if my heart is healthy enough to tolerate the Doxil.
I realized how fortunate I have been to have bone-only disease for the past seven and a half years which responded well to aromatase inhibitors and other anti-estrogenic, oral meds. How quickly I forgot that I felt well most of that time. (Aside from the pain of a broken leg, new bone mets, back pain...)
Chemo freaks me out and yet I read every day that so many of my mets-sisters manage to live well on it long term. Still, having Abraxane fail after only two months scares me.
This evening I suddenly realized that I have dealt with cancer for 20% of my life -- 11 years. I barely remember the other 80%: it flew by when I wasn't paying attention. Or maybe that's the depression talking.