We have been very busy lately!
Last week we visited Rik's parents and enjoyed some Florida sunshine at the same time. Although the temperature was in the 80s, thankfully my lymphedema arm did not swell from either the long flights or the heat.
On Sunday we re-stocked our fridge at Costco and ended up leasing a new 2013 Nissan Leaf. It was a very busy day…
On Monday I had the second cataract surgery. All went well, and I didn't ask for more Versed, so I remember many details of the surgery. Remembering doesn't seem to bother me. We went out for breakfast at Skillet Diner, which continues to not quite live up to expectations, although breakfast was better than any other meal I've eaten there. The biscuit I ordered with my eggs was enormous and fluffy.
Tuesday was a lay-low day since I was "resting" for a PET/CT scan. No exercise and I was supposed to eat a high fat, low carbohydrate diet starting 24 hours before the scan. The scan was the next day at 11 AM, so I could eat a regular breakfast. I ate some leftover chicken for lunch. After my post-op check with the opthalmologist surgeon, we went to the grocery store and bought lamb chops for dinner, with which I sautéed some greens.
What I always seem to forget about this diet is that not eating carbohydrates (no bread, potatoes, etc.) leaves me feeling hungry. I ate some peanut butter at 11 PM and then fasted until the exam was over today at 2 PM. Believe me, eating breakfast after fasting for 15 hours was delicious no matter where you go!
I get the PET/CT results next week from Dr G. He's told me not to start another round of Xeloda until after I see him and we speak about next steps in treatment.
February 26, 2014
February 17, 2014
No new brain mets
I saw Dr G today and the result of last week's MRI is no new brain mets. Yay! Now we move on to a PET/CT scan (haven't had one in a long time) and after we get those results, we will be ready to make a decision about changing treatment.
My cancer is slowly progressing, which means changing treatment. I may stay on Xeloda and add something I've already taken, such as Afinitor, or something new. I've already refused to take Abraxane or any other taxanes again because I fear the neuropathy in my feet will increase dramatically, as it did the one time I tried Taxol.
Dr G and I read about curcumin (the active ingredient in the Indian spice turmeric) being effective in cancer treatment. So I need to choose a new naturopath and get started with this.
In the meanwhile, I will get ready for the second cataract surgery, enjoy mid-winter break with Rik off of school, and schedule all these appointments.
My cancer is slowly progressing, which means changing treatment. I may stay on Xeloda and add something I've already taken, such as Afinitor, or something new. I've already refused to take Abraxane or any other taxanes again because I fear the neuropathy in my feet will increase dramatically, as it did the one time I tried Taxol.
Dr G and I read about curcumin (the active ingredient in the Indian spice turmeric) being effective in cancer treatment. So I need to choose a new naturopath and get started with this.
In the meanwhile, I will get ready for the second cataract surgery, enjoy mid-winter break with Rik off of school, and schedule all these appointments.
February 12, 2014
Brain MRI
Today I had a brain MRI. Last week when I thought I lost the diamond earrings, it made me wonder if I had new or more active brain mets. I get the results next Monday.
I saw Dr G while at Minor and James. He looked frazzled and said he had six patients waiting. The nurses all agreed it was a rough and busy day, but they took good care of me anyway.
I also saw Dr Dobie the shrink again, and we have tweaked my meds again to try to get me better sleep. I am starting 50 mg of Trazodone tonight and tomorrow night. If it works, great. If it doesn't help, I will stop taking it and call her at the end of the week.
Last night I dreamed that I was looking for my car and couldn't find it. When I woke up, I decided the dream was symbolic of worry about losing my independence. I had visited a dying friend yesterday and that experience must have stuck with me into dreamland.
I saw Dr G while at Minor and James. He looked frazzled and said he had six patients waiting. The nurses all agreed it was a rough and busy day, but they took good care of me anyway.
I also saw Dr Dobie the shrink again, and we have tweaked my meds again to try to get me better sleep. I am starting 50 mg of Trazodone tonight and tomorrow night. If it works, great. If it doesn't help, I will stop taking it and call her at the end of the week.
Last night I dreamed that I was looking for my car and couldn't find it. When I woke up, I decided the dream was symbolic of worry about losing my independence. I had visited a dying friend yesterday and that experience must have stuck with me into dreamland.
February 10, 2014
February 07, 2014
Quick update
My "depressive funk" continues to bug me but not as much. Yesterday I started the additional 20 mg of Cymbalta and I got through the whole day without needing a nap. Of course, I couldn't fall asleep too easily either at bedtime…
I think everything was extra hard due to the end of Xeloda round 13.
More soon.
I think everything was extra hard due to the end of Xeloda round 13.
More soon.
January 31, 2014
Ice cream for breakfast
Tomorrow (Saturday February 1) is International Ice Cream for Breakfast Day. You celebrate by eating ice cream on oatmeal, a waffle, French toast -- you name it.
Add toppings such as chopped nuts, chocolate, fruit, whipped cream etc. and enjoy! Even better when friends join you.
Started by a nice Jewish family. Google it for more info and history.
Add toppings such as chopped nuts, chocolate, fruit, whipped cream etc. and enjoy! Even better when friends join you.
Started by a nice Jewish family. Google it for more info and history.
January 30, 2014
It's getting better all the time
Yesterday I saw my shrink to talk about what she says isn't depression (hasn't lasted long enough) so I will call it a depressive funk. We talked about everything from the lost and found earrings to my "high expectations of myself."
All in all, it's okay to feel down. It's okay to spend the occasional day in bed. It's okay to nap. It's basically okay to cut myself some slack.
Dr Dobie recommended increasing the Ativan to 2 mg at bedtime. If that doesn't give me better sleep, and good sleep is totally necessary to heal from depression, I have a prescription to add another 20 mg of Cymbalta, the anti-depressant I take for help with neuropathy. And if neither one works, I am seeing her in two weeks and we'll discuss further treatment options. She also recommended getting a meditation podcast, which I forgot to do while near the Swedish Cancer Education Center this afternoon.
It's odd but I already feel better. Perhaps that has to do with talking it out to someone who understands. Or maybe because it didn't rain today, and I could wear my new Lucky Brand red suede ankle boots. (Bought on sale for a fraction of the original price!) Or maybe it's because I still have enormous bounce-back and even my downs tend not to last very long.
Either way, I feel better. And aren't these boots cute?!
All in all, it's okay to feel down. It's okay to spend the occasional day in bed. It's okay to nap. It's basically okay to cut myself some slack.
Dr Dobie recommended increasing the Ativan to 2 mg at bedtime. If that doesn't give me better sleep, and good sleep is totally necessary to heal from depression, I have a prescription to add another 20 mg of Cymbalta, the anti-depressant I take for help with neuropathy. And if neither one works, I am seeing her in two weeks and we'll discuss further treatment options. She also recommended getting a meditation podcast, which I forgot to do while near the Swedish Cancer Education Center this afternoon.
It's odd but I already feel better. Perhaps that has to do with talking it out to someone who understands. Or maybe because it didn't rain today, and I could wear my new Lucky Brand red suede ankle boots. (Bought on sale for a fraction of the original price!) Or maybe it's because I still have enormous bounce-back and even my downs tend not to last very long.
Either way, I feel better. And aren't these boots cute?!
January 26, 2014
Anxiety + Stress
It's been an anxiety-filled few days, so much so that it didn't even register to me as anxiety and stress until I after spent all of Saturday in bed. And I do mean all -- I got up at 4 PM and went back to bed at 7 PM.
I think this started Wednesday night with the search for the missing diamond earrings (thankfully found on Thursday). That search led to a completely sleepless night, despite 2 mg of Ativan, a Vicodin tablet, and half an Ambien. I spent the night on the sofa so I wouldn't wake up Rik with my kicking and turning from side to side, and finally fell asleep at 5 AM for an hour. I got back into bed after Rik went to school and slept a couple more hours.
I thought cooking dinner for friends on Friday night would be a stress-release, but I ended up more pooped than ever and had another completely sleepless night, again despite medications. I wanted to go to synagogue on Saturday morning in support of one of the people I recently coached, but I simply could not get out of bed.
This is so unlike me, except that in the past, my coping strategy for high level stress and anxiety has been to stay in bed for a day. When I do this it usually makes me realize that there is more going on than I can handle. So I made a note to call Dr Dobie, the shrink, and get an appointment. I also remembered that I never made an appointment for my monthly Aredia and Faslodex. Got to call Dr G's office on Monday.
I even told the synagogue president and rabbi that I was unable to complete my duty as chair of a committee. I don't know who will take my place, but I am sure someone will step up. I just don't have the mental capacity or emotional strength right now.
Stressed is not always desserts spelled backwards...
I think this started Wednesday night with the search for the missing diamond earrings (thankfully found on Thursday). That search led to a completely sleepless night, despite 2 mg of Ativan, a Vicodin tablet, and half an Ambien. I spent the night on the sofa so I wouldn't wake up Rik with my kicking and turning from side to side, and finally fell asleep at 5 AM for an hour. I got back into bed after Rik went to school and slept a couple more hours.
I thought cooking dinner for friends on Friday night would be a stress-release, but I ended up more pooped than ever and had another completely sleepless night, again despite medications. I wanted to go to synagogue on Saturday morning in support of one of the people I recently coached, but I simply could not get out of bed.
This is so unlike me, except that in the past, my coping strategy for high level stress and anxiety has been to stay in bed for a day. When I do this it usually makes me realize that there is more going on than I can handle. So I made a note to call Dr Dobie, the shrink, and get an appointment. I also remembered that I never made an appointment for my monthly Aredia and Faslodex. Got to call Dr G's office on Monday.
I even told the synagogue president and rabbi that I was unable to complete my duty as chair of a committee. I don't know who will take my place, but I am sure someone will step up. I just don't have the mental capacity or emotional strength right now.
Stressed is not always desserts spelled backwards...
January 23, 2014
Xeloda round 13
Last Sunday I began taking round 13 of Xeloda. So far, so good. My left thumb is either healing or peeling from more hand-foot syndrome, so I have started using the henna again.
This week has been stressful and frustrating. I continually forget basic words, names of things, etc. I am either too busy or have nothing to do at all. Yesterday I cleaned my diamond stud earrings and put them on the counter to dry while I turned to another task. Well, I forgot about the earrings until after I'd gotten into bed and by then it was too late. We looked everywhere but couldn't find them. That's an expensive mistake.
Today at support group someone suggested I look in the kitchen sink catch pipe under the counter. Sure enough, the earrings were there!
But that doesn't excuse my memory lapses etc. I worry that I may have more active brain brain mets, so contacted Dr G to see if he thought I needed a brain scan. More on that when I hear back from his office.
I feel a strong need to step back from obligations until I can get my head under control. And I mean that literally.
This week has been stressful and frustrating. I continually forget basic words, names of things, etc. I am either too busy or have nothing to do at all. Yesterday I cleaned my diamond stud earrings and put them on the counter to dry while I turned to another task. Well, I forgot about the earrings until after I'd gotten into bed and by then it was too late. We looked everywhere but couldn't find them. That's an expensive mistake.
Today at support group someone suggested I look in the kitchen sink catch pipe under the counter. Sure enough, the earrings were there!
But that doesn't excuse my memory lapses etc. I worry that I may have more active brain brain mets, so contacted Dr G to see if he thought I needed a brain scan. More on that when I hear back from his office.
I feel a strong need to step back from obligations until I can get my head under control. And I mean that literally.
January 14, 2014
Post-cataract surgery
Yesterday I had the cataract surgery on my left eye. Dr M corrected it to 20/25 for distance. I still can't read or see up close without "cheater" glasses but having mid-range and distance vision without glasses or contact lenses is amazing!
I first started wearing glasses at a young age. Neither my mother nor I can remember how young, but definitely before third grade, when we left New York for Cincinnati. My whole life I have wanted to see the alarm clock without first reaching for my glasses, and now I can!
The right eye surgery is scheduled for five weeks from now. I need to have another round of Xeloda (that's two weeks), plus three weeks off chemo, making five weeks total. I am supposed to start the Xeloda again on Sunday but will know for certain after I speak to Dr G at this week's appointment.
Meanwhile I have cheaters, I am cleared to drive while wearing the right contact lens, and I love not having to wear glasses again!
I first started wearing glasses at a young age. Neither my mother nor I can remember how young, but definitely before third grade, when we left New York for Cincinnati. My whole life I have wanted to see the alarm clock without first reaching for my glasses, and now I can!
The right eye surgery is scheduled for five weeks from now. I need to have another round of Xeloda (that's two weeks), plus three weeks off chemo, making five weeks total. I am supposed to start the Xeloda again on Sunday but will know for certain after I speak to Dr G at this week's appointment.
Meanwhile I have cheaters, I am cleared to drive while wearing the right contact lens, and I love not having to wear glasses again!
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