Today I had a brain MRI. Last week when I thought I lost the diamond earrings, it made me wonder if I had new or more active brain mets. I get the results next Monday.
I saw Dr G while at Minor and James. He looked frazzled and said he had six patients waiting. The nurses all agreed it was a rough and busy day, but they took good care of me anyway.
I also saw Dr Dobie the shrink again, and we have tweaked my meds again to try to get me better sleep. I am starting 50 mg of Trazodone tonight and tomorrow night. If it works, great. If it doesn't help, I will stop taking it and call her at the end of the week.
Last night I dreamed that I was looking for my car and couldn't find it. When I woke up, I decided the dream was symbolic of worry about losing my independence. I had visited a dying friend yesterday and that experience must have stuck with me into dreamland.
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I discovered that during cancer treatment, my dreams were very vivid and I remembered a lot of them. On the surface, they seemed strange, and I wondered about them, but I always discovered that there were great truths to be found in exploring them. I will pray for the results of next weeks MRI.
ReplyDeleteAtivan and the benzodiazepines can cause anteriograde amnesia--the inability to form memories. So you might very well be getting more forgetful due to a drug side effect. You are a very generous person to be sharing your experiences on a blog and I wanted to share back so you can ask your doctor about this. Ativan is very good for short term anxiety, but the side effects of long term usage are bad, and getting off that drug is very difficult. Please ask your shrink to think about whether the benefits are worth the risk, or if there is some other drug which doesn't have these issues and the risk of dependence.
ReplyDeleteI appreciate your blog very much!