January 26, 2014

Anxiety + Stress

It's been an anxiety-filled few days, so much so that it didn't even register to me as anxiety and stress until I after spent all of Saturday in bed. And I do mean all -- I got up at 4 PM and went back to bed at 7 PM.

I think this started Wednesday night with the search for the missing diamond earrings (thankfully found on Thursday). That search led to a completely sleepless night, despite 2 mg of Ativan, a Vicodin tablet, and half an Ambien. I spent the night on the sofa so I wouldn't wake up Rik with my kicking and turning from side to side, and finally fell asleep at 5 AM for an hour. I got back into bed after Rik went to school and slept a couple more hours.

I thought cooking dinner for friends on Friday night would be a stress-release, but I ended up more pooped than ever and had another completely sleepless night, again despite medications. I wanted to go to synagogue on Saturday morning in support of one of the people I recently coached, but I simply could not get out of bed.

This is so unlike me, except that in the past, my coping strategy for high level stress and anxiety has been to stay in bed for a day. When I do this it usually makes me realize that there is more going on than I can handle. So I made a note to call Dr Dobie, the shrink, and get an appointment. I also remembered that I never made an appointment for my monthly Aredia and Faslodex. Got to call Dr G's office on Monday.

I even told the synagogue president and rabbi that I was unable to complete my duty as chair of a committee. I don't know who will take my place, but I am sure someone will step up. I just don't have the mental capacity or emotional strength right now.

Stressed is not always desserts spelled backwards...


  1. Hang in there Jill. You know, you have been through a lot over the last several years. You are fighting this dreadful disease...EVERYDAY and you are fighting it well. But, I think some days, our bodies just say......WHOA! Be kind to yourself. Acknowledge the stress, tension and anxiety...and then boot it out the door! You are allowed some downtime....
    Hugs from a fellow survivor in Florida!

  2. Sandra1:38 PM

    Sending you healing wishes for recovered zest and strength. Meanwhile, please keep resting. I'm exhausted just reading what you're going through. Hugs.