February 08, 2012

Another cancer loss

Yesterday my friend Stephanie died of the metastatic lung cancer she'd lived with for three years.

Stephanie and her partner had celebrated an early new year's eve over lunch with Rik and I just a few weeks ago. Later I learned that S got very sick that same night and stayed so for the next couple of weeks. After hearing that there were no other options to treat her cancer, she started on hospice in their home a few weeks ago and her health began to fail. By the end of last week she was clearly "terminal," and between one day and the next, Stephanie died.

Stephanie's death hit me very hard. I read the email in the morning but still started my typical day. While walking the dog and listening to some music, I remembered how Stephanie and Michael had come to the Dunava concert last December, just to show me support. I recalled the time they came to dinner at our home; I was sure we would all become good friends. I looked back on all the times at group that Stephanie and I took opposite views, simply because we saw the world as glass half full or glass half empty. And I sobbed.

I cried for the loss of our friendship which was just starting to deepen. I wept for her partner, who held her as she died and now has to pick up the pieces of his life. I sobbed over the parallels between Stephanie's life and mine, for our similar diagnoses and for my ability to visualize through her dying, what my death might be like. I read Michael's posts and I can see what my partner might go through.

You can read about Stephanie on her blog, The Taffy Times.

Stephanie, may your memory be for a blessing to all who knew you.


  1. My deepest sympathies. May her memory keep you strong.

  2. I am sorry Jill. When someone loses 'the battle', everyone else falters. Chin up, brave woman.

  3. I read these blogs to educate myself about what to look for, and also so I know what to do should friend go through it.(I have one who is currently NED after ovarian cancer a few years ago) Just wanted to wish you much comfort as you go through this grieving period.

  4. I'm sorry for you and your friend. Two other breast cancer bloggers died this week. So troubling. So sad.

  5. I'm sorry you lost your friend, Jill. Another loss to this wretched disease. Another reason to scream and/or cry.