May 19, 2006

Stress and Anxiety

What a week. Dad is still in the hospital; he's likely had a heart attack (too much adriamycin is toxic to the heart) and will be discharged straight to a rehab center. So in addition to daily or twice daily long distance calls to try to get a handle on what's going on, there was research to find an appropriate and highly enough regarded rehab center on short notice. We think we have one and are waiting to hear if space is available. Hopefully by Monday.

I had 3 trips to the dentist(s) this week, causing additional stress. On Monday I could hardly tolerate having my teeth cleaned. Indeed, I reached my "full" point before the hygienist could even polish and floss. Tuesday was a follow-up with the oral surgeon, and today I went back to the dentist for an impression. And I have a powerful gag reflex.

The combination of Dad in the hospital in NJ, me in Seattle, heat aggravating my lymphedema, dental stuff and then developing carpal tunnel in my right hand from a week of bandaging for lympehedema has put me over the top. I exploded in anger at Rik yesterday for no reason. I slam doors, kick things out of my way, and am generally in the foulest mood imaginable.

It was so bad yesterday evening that I took 0.5 mg of ativan (lorazepam) which I normally reserve for MRI's. It helped enough to take the edge off, and I took the same dose again today before the dental impression. I am still storming around, but not yelling at my husband any more. Yoga class today was calming, but unfortunately the effect wore off as soon as I got into the car. I had to give in to instinct and get a piece of chocolate cake on my way home from the dentist to get the taste of the impression cement out of my mouth. So much for trying for weight loss.

Thankfully our friends have invited us over for dinner tonight, and I felt energetic enough to make dessert -- strawberry-rhubarb shortcakes with real whipped cream. An evening with friends, a couple of glasses of wine, and a good dinner should help, I hope. If not, there's always more ativan.

1 comment:

  1. Anonymous8:34 AM

    Dear Jill, so very sorry to hear about your dad, hope that he will soon get into rehab! You really seem to have had a nasty time lately, as well as poor Rik, getting your abuse - i.e. letting off your steam at him. I hope that your lymphedema is behaving itself again, and not making you suffer.
    Out east here we are jealous of your summer weather, since we had nothing but cold and rain. Finally finished to get the garden in yesterday. Now my whole body, especially around all my "spare parts" is aching badly.
    Hope you are already feeling better, love to you and Rik, Michele