December 23, 2015

Staying hopeful

Last week my friend J died after only a few days with hospice care. I saw her on Thursday at our support group and days later she died. On Sunday Rik and I attended her memorial service. And tonight I went with friends to a shiva minyan at her home. The mourners? Her wife, her college-aged daughter, her sister and other family members.

Joanie, like me, had lived with metastatic breast cancer for more than a few years. We shared many struggles and difficulties, but I think we both approached living with advanced cancer in similar ways.

Sometimes it sucks.

Other times it's just life. Or as our friend D from group puts it, the glass is full.

No, my nickname isn't Pollyanna. My life isn't all smiles and good cheer. It's just that I'd rather find the joy in each day if I can.

Even when I was hospitalized recently and shaking with fever and chills, after the shaking stopped, I tried to relax and practice my yoga breathing. The next day, if I could eat, I wanted some vitamin CH (that's chocolate to the rest of you). 

I don't know how, even in this aftermath of yet another friend's death from advanced cancer, I can still smile. But somehow I manage to find joy in every day.

You might find this article from CURE Magazine of note: Hope in the Face of Death: Living With Metastatic Breast Cancer. The author notes that there are long-term outliers living with mets, naming me and others among them. 

Every click on the article results in a donation to METAvivor. And if we don't give now to fund research into metastatic breast cancer, then when?


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