Last night I had my cancer dream again.
I am in a house that's full of noisy people and I keep trying to get them to leave. They refuse and make more noise than before, moving from room to room. I become extremely frustrated with the whole situation, lose my temper and begin shouting "You have to leave! I insist!"
I've had this dream several times. The house is my body; the rowdy, unruly guests are my metastases. And the rooms they more around in are my 23 site of bony mets.
I've said for the past four years that I will give cancer space in my body as long as it behaves itself and is a quiet tenant. The dream tells me that I am worried it's not quiet any more.
The back pain I've had for the past two weeks must be giving me more stress than I am aware of. I have an MRI on Tuesday to see what's up, if anything.