Swimming in Pink

It's October, and that means Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Pink stuff is everywhere -- pink kitchen appliances; pink garden tools; even pink Barbie dolls (oy!).

Do me a favor: if you want to support breast cancer research, advocacy, or related issues, DON'T BUY PINK. The few dollars or even pennies donated per item can't provide enough funding to help in a big way. Women with breast cancer would be better off if you simply made a donation to an appropriate charity.

To get some background on this issue, read Buying Pink from the Seattle Times.

Want to help? You can ---

- Fund research, so I will live to celebrate another birthday.

- Fund instruction in breast self-exams for girls and young women, so they will learn what their breasts feel like and how to recognize changes.

- Fund early detection for women who can't afford mammograms.

- Fund patient support for women who have trouble making ends meet while in treatment.

- Fund advocacy work to get more government funding to find a cure for cancer.

But don't buy pink for me. It doesn't help.

Another cancer dream

I think this is another cancer dream..

I'm in a house, it feels like my house, but everything is topsy-turvy: the bed is in the wrong spot, the couch is gone (!) and another sofa is there in its place AND I DON'T LIKE IT AT ALL. I run from room to room, yelling at my husband. Why has he traded one sofa for another without asking me? How can he leave to go to work when everything is out of whack?

I was angry while dreaming this. I knew I was dreaming, but I couldn't wake up enough to go back to sleep and dream something else. Very distressing...

MRI results

My MRI was postponed from Tuesday of last week to Friday due to managed care silliness. Got the results today and it did not reveal anything new, so my back pain may be muscular. My oncologist is referring me to physical therapy. In the meantime, better living through chemistry, taken as needed for pain!

Dreaming of cancer

Last night I had my cancer dream again.

I am in a house that's full of noisy people and I keep trying to get them to leave. They refuse and make more noise than before, moving from room to room. I become extremely frustrated with the whole situation, lose my temper and begin shouting "You have to leave! I insist!"

I've had this dream several times. The house is my body; the rowdy, unruly guests are my metastases. And the rooms they more around in are my 23 site of bony mets.

I've said for the past four years that I will give cancer space in my body as long as it behaves itself and is a quiet tenant. The dream tells me that I am worried it's not quiet any more.

The back pain I've had for the past two weeks must be giving me more stress than I am aware of. I have an MRI on Tuesday to see what's up, if anything.